Holey Moley Golf Club
Holey Moley Golf Club in Fortitude Valley is Brisbane’s most unique bar featuring its own retro-carnival-themed mini- golf course in a stunning heritage-listed church*.
Behind the wrought-iron gates lies an astroturf garden bar with a resident golf cart, the church vestibule contains a sandpit complete with buckets and spades, while inside the scene that greets punters is like a splendid old-fashioned side show alley, complete with puppets, laughing clowns, stuffed toys and carousel horses.
The ground floor features a 9-hole mini-golf course, while upstairs in the wraparound astroturf galley (accessed by an old carved wooden staircase) are a further 9 holes and along one side is the bar with a feature wall of spirit and wine-filled crates.
Each of the holes is decked out according to its own quirky retro theme – think Alice in Wonderland, Nirvana, Game of Thrones, Nirvana, Pharrell Williams and Chubby Checker, iconic surf culture, Snoop Dog and Classic Carnival – and with names like Mad Putters Tee Party, Smells Like Tee Spirit, Let’s Twist Again, Sweat Dreams, On Like Donkey Kong, The Iron Throne, Friendless Summer and These Pretzels are Making me Thirstee.
And with names like that, expect the unexpected - golfers will find themselves putting balls into anything from a clothes dryer with line of laundry hanging, or negotiating a game of Twister, a bench press or a crate of vinyl records.
Meanwhile at the bar mini-golfers can refresh with a beer from the Don’t Worry Be Hoppy list – anything from Guinness and Heineken to ‘One Fifty Lashes’ Pale Ale or a cider from ‘Incider Knowledge’ list – think 5 Seeds Crisp Apple Cider or the house specialty – a 5 Seeds Cider Bucket (4).
Wine drinkers can take their pick from the Ker Plonk menu, with a variety of wines available by the glass only and for more serious drinkers there’s ‘Ready to Rollers’ including Smirnoff Red or Black Ice.
Cocktails come with childhood sweet trimmings like Oreos, doughnuts and lollies, with fun choices like Hole in One (Pampero white rum, cinnamon whisky, half a banana and sugar syrup topped with a doughnut with cinnamon sprinkle) or Happy Gilmoreo (Chambord raspberry liqueur, Smirnoff red vodka, Baileys, milk, chocolate sauce and whipped cream topping).
For those who work up an appetite with all that putting, there’s all kinds of fun bar food available, starting with snacks like popcorn, candy floss, Hoffa nuts and Bigwig Jerky through to
‘Bits & Pieces’ such as one half a kilo of Buffalo wings or a Karaage Cup and a range of Buns with fillings including Fried Chicken with kewpie mayo or Tempura Fried Eggplant Steak.
And for those who need a break from mini-golf, there's also ping pong tables and pinball machines for some extra amusement.
*The church, built in 1885, was designed by prominent Brisbane architect Richard Gailey, and was the first Presbyterian church to be built in Fortitude Valley.
Check out our full list of Fortitude Valley bars HERE
Holey Moley Golf Club
25 Warner St